Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Self-Sabotage, It's a Fine Art

Writer or not, it doesn’t matter. We’ve all got this one really cool thing we love to do. Maybe it’s photography, painting, crafting, scrapbooking, coin collecting, etc. Or a sport like baseball, tennis or, yes I’m going to include it even though every ounce of my being is screaming not to, golf. (We’ll get back to this one)

Whatever it is makes us happy, gives us a sense of self-worth or belonging. It’s something we can share with others who love the same thing. So we make friends along the way. But the downside is it takes you away from your family, your job, your responsibilities. So, we end up feeling guilty about wanting to spend time on it. That makes us unhappy. And if we’re honest about it, everyone around us suffers right along with us.

There is a solution. One I’m still working to perfect. The main thing is to find a routine that works and keeps everyone happy. Organization plays a huge part and scheduling is a must.  This is the toughest part for me, but slowly I'm managing to put everything down on a calendar and then stick to it.

Here's the biggest myth I learned about my own self-sabotaging.

I’ll just take care of everything else first. – This only made me tired and frustrated. At the end of the day, I had a clean house, organized closets and drawers, happy hubby and kids due to the meals I scheduled for the entire week, and a weedless garden.

The only thing missing—my sanity. I wasn’t spending any time doing what I love and my attitude stunk. Not to mention the mounting self-doubt. I started thinking maybe I should just quit writing all together. I’ll be honest. The mere idea of quitting had me depressed, not wanting to spend time with anyone or do anything at all.

Let’s face it. There will always be something that needs tending to, something to fold, a call to return, a bill to pay, a kid to run here or there. It’s a never ending cycle. Life has a pesky way of getting in the way, doesn’t it?

So what’s the answer to this one?

I won’t pretend like I’ve found a magical secret. But I have learned it’s okay to let things slide occasionally and have a life outside my family. I can share part of my day with good friends and still be able to spend quality time with the most special people in my life too.  Heck and even get a few of those unending chores done along the way.

How do I do it? It means I’m getting up a little bit earlier and going to bed a little bit later. For right now, it’s working. It's not easy since I love my sleep.  But this is allowing me to be more productive with my writing and it feels so good.  I’m keeping up with most of the daily chores and even asking the kids and hubby to pitch in and help out a little more. This doesn't mean I'm a failure. Heck no! After all. We are a team. :)

No more excuses or blaming others.

No more self-sabotage! (Repeat this every time you try to make an excuse and go do something else. I think my record is 67 times in one day so far. LOL But it works like a charm!)

Onward and Upward!

Who’s with Me? :)

(Oh, yeah.  The golf thing. LOL  Still trying to get hubby to work on that one.  It's his one thing he loves to do.  Need I say more?)